I became a professional writer in 1982. That’s 38 years ago. There is literally nothing I have not written a song about.
Yodeling?
Yes. “Betty Learned To Yodel” 1990
(It contains my Dad’s favorite joke. There’s a guy with a wooden leg named Pete. What’s the name of his OTHER leg?)
Bumblebees and jumbo shrimp?
Yes. “Nothing ‘Bout Love Makes Sense” 2004
(A song of oxymorons written by a moron on oxy)
Sexual dysfunction?
Yes. “I Try To Think About Elvis” 1994
(Risqué for it’s time. Softened a bit by being song by sweet Patty Loveless)
Outer space?
“Burned Like A Rocket “ 1991
(Just about to crack the pop charts when the Challenger exploded. There are jokes here but still too soon)
Murder?
“Be Careful What You Wish For” 2005
“Real Gone Daddy” 1984
(I used to write nothing but psycho killer songs. Looking back…yikes.)
Mahatma Ghandi?
“Ghandi” 2004
(For the Indian market)
American history?
“In Front of The Alamo” 2004
(For the Texas market)
Bumper Stickers?
“Honk if You Love Jesus” 1993
(Because “My kid is an honor student” was already written by Bob DiPiero)
The Bible?
“Apple in the Garden” 2007
“God and Me” 2006
(Lovely book. Sad ending)
Drugs?
“Hallucinating” 2007
(I did mescaline once in college and I thought a duck was talking to me.)
Talk Radio?
“The Night Show” 2001
(Written with the amazing Andrew Gold. He was brilliant and we really wrote some great songs together. Unfortunately, this one you will probably never hear.)
Get the drift of where I am going here?
I’ve got a phone full of titles, and lately every time I start to write one I stop and realize I have already written it in one form or another. Sh*t.
Oh wait… curse words…
“Five Letter Word” 1997
(It starts with an L and ends with an E…leave.)
Maybe I have to start at the beginning and write the same songs over again knowing that I will be writing them from the perspective of an older, wiser man. Daunting. I’m old but not that much wiser.
Aging?
“Younger”
“My Life Is On The Wire”
I can’t remember when I wrote these.